


... always having your back

by JohnPuller



Series: Family means ... [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Bobby Nash Acting as Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parental Figure, Established Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Protective Bobby Nash, Worried Athena Grant, Worried Bobby Nash, Worried Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26176720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnPuller/pseuds/JohnPuller
Summary: Eddie really started to hate Maddie for her temperance. Why couldn't she just leave them alone and accept that Buck wouldn´t come to her baby shower?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Family means ... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862542
Comments: 10
Kudos: 181





	... always having your back

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there,
> 
> this is the second part of my series "Family means ...".   
> Both part are individual stories which are connected but could also be read without the other. 
> 
> So enjoy reading!

Maddie was pissed. Buck never had seen her so furious. At least not since she left him alone with their parent to go to college. She stands in the middle of the common area of the fire station and yelled at him. He could see, that her mouth was moving but he couldn´t hear a word. He just could hear his father. “You are disgusting. I shouldn’t have listened to your mother and just force her into abortion. How is it even possible that you have the same blood as I? Your not even worth one dollar I spend on your education! Why can´t you just be like your sister? She is smart but you? You can´t even get one A at school. You´re such a disappointment.” He could feel his father’s backhand on his face. Feel the pain the hit caused even if he was aware of it to happen. He was caught in his biggest nightmare. Again.

He felt a tight grip on his shoulders and was catapulted back into reality. “Son? Buck? Can you hear me?” Buck blinked and looked around him. He wasn´t in the common room anymore. He stands in the middle of Bobby´s office. The older man in front of him. He had a concerned look on his face. “Hey, Buck. It´s just the two of us. There is no rush. Just come back to me” Buck tried to concentrate on Bobby. On the man who made him feel safe. He blocked everything around them out and just concentrate on his Captain. He could feel Bobby´s hands on his face. He focused his eyes on the brown ones before him. Bobby looked worried. “Buck? Can you hear me?” Buck nodded. As soon as he did, Bobby´s shoulders lose some of their tense. “That´s good son. We are in my office. It´s just the two of us. The others are out on a medical call. Something they can manage without us. Maddie has a shift so she is gone as well. Just relax and take your time, okay?” Buck nodded and relaxed a little. He hadn´t known that the possibility to face Maddie again had made him so anxious. 

“Hey Buck, would you mind, if we sit down?” Buck chuckled. “Are you getting tired pop?”, he tried to joke. Buck hadn´t used the nickname what felt like ages. When he first started at the station, Buck had used it to piss and challenge his new Captain. As soon as he started to respect him, he stopped. But now he didn´t care if it would piss Bobby. It just felt right. He couldn´t know, that Bobby started to love the nickname, as soon as Buck stopped to use him. Sometimes, when he lies awake at night the older man thought back to the time and longed after it.

Together they sat on the couch. Bobby never let go of Buck. He wanted to show the younger man that he was there. He wanted to ground him. As they sat, Buck crouched as near on Bobby as possible and let his head rest on his shoulder. He was exhausted. Emotional. He didn´t even know why Maddie had triggered his panic attack. Her yelling at him never had done it before, so why now? “What´s going on, in that head of yours?” Bobby´s voice was calming. Buck debated with himself. Should he tell him? What would Bobby think about him? Would he think the same and was just to polite to tell him right away? Was he just waiting for the right moment? Buck felt his muscles tense again. “Son. You don´t have to tell me if you don´t want to. I would appreciate it because I think it will help you. But under no circumstance, I will make you. Understood?” Buck nodded silently. He wanted to tell Bobby but didn´t know how.

“I … I don´t know … how… how to start.” He wasn´t sure where he gets the strength to verbalize his fear. Bobby´s grip tightened around his shoulder. His head found a place above Buck´s. “Where ever you want to start. If it helps, start with the trigger, who leads to your panic attack.” Buck exhaled. He could do this. Bobby was one of the few people he trusted unconditionally. He just had to start. “I don´t really know. I… I think it was the yelling.”, he stated. Bobby nodded. “That makes sense. You flinched every time, I yell at you. Or just raise my voice.” Buck freeze. He did? He wasn´t even aware of that. “My father … he… he yelled a lot. When I was younger he yelled at me about… about my dirty trousers or a bad grad… later about my sexuality or just the way I looked at him…” Buck could feel the water behind his eyes. He didn´t want to cry. It would show his weakness but he couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Buck buried his face in Bobby´s shoulder. “It´s okay son. I promised you, he will not hurt you again. And I will give you that promise again and again. As long as I have a voice in this debate, he will not hurt you again. He will not even get near you! Do you understand?” Bobby sounded so sure that Buck couldn´t debate with him. “Thanks, Pops.” The captain smiled. “Whatever you need son. Or like Eddie would say. I will have your back in this. Okay?” Buck just nodded. 

After, Buck couldn’t say how long they sat there in silence. Both just in their thoughts and the feeling, the other gave. But at one point the trucks came back and Bobby made a move to stand up and join the rest of the crew. Buck tensed again, as soon as Bobby began to shift. “Hey, it´s okay son. I´m not leaving you.” “Did… Did they… Did they see?”, Buck asked sheepishly. Bobby shot him a sad smile. He stands up and crouched down in front of the younger man. “I promise you, Buck, they will not judge you. A panic attack is nothing you need to be ashamed of. Remember the night after the plane crash? Neither, you nor Hen had judged me. Remember?” Buck couldn’t deny that. But there were other circumstances. Bobby was their captain. But he, Buck was just the youngest crew member who always causes trouble. “Otherwise you have just half an hour left on your shift. I don´t want you to be alone right now, so Athena will come to get you, drive you to Chris´ school and then booth of you home okay?” Buck nodded. Because Carla was sick, Eddie and he worked different shifts the whole week. So, there was always one to get Chris to school or home after. Eddie also wouldn´t be at home before midnight. On one side Buck was grateful for that because he knew Eddie would want to know the reason for his panic attack. Or at least made him call Jamie, his therapist. On the other side, Bobby was right. He truly didn´t want to be alone right now. He didn´t trust himself. And he had Chris to think about. So he was thankful that Athena would drive him. 

As they turned to leave the office, Buck remembered something important. “Bobby? What was Maddie´s yelling about?” Bobby turned around so he could face him. He looked concerned. “Buck you don´t …” “Bobby please, I need to know. I just heard my father not her. I need to know so I can apologize for all this.”, he practically pleads. Bobby sight. “She was angry that you take a cover shift on her Baby shower. She is angry with me and Athena as well. You don´t need to feel sorry about that! You don´t have to apologize! You don´t want to face your parents, so I make sure you don´t have to. I have your back son.” Bobby´s hands were again on Buck´s shoulders to calm him down. His breathing had hitched a dangerous level with every word that left Bobby´s mouth. Slowly Buck gets his breathing under control. Again, tears started to build behind his eyes. Why didn´t Maddie understand? She knows how they were before she left. Wasn´t that reason enough to distract himself from them? Why couldn´t she just leave him alone with that? What was her fucking problem?

“Buck, son. Athena will be there in ten. Do you want to wait in my office?” Bobby´s voice dragged Buck back into reality. He didn´t know what he wants. But a silent office away from all the judging glances sounded great, so he nodded and sat back on the couch. He made himself as small as possible. Bobby sight as he left his office. He knew the younger man needed time for himself and he wanted to give him what he needed so he headed to the common area. The others waited there for him. All of them seemed to worry about the youngest member. Hen was the first to ask. “Is he okay, cap?” Bobby shakes his head. He made himself a promise to be as honest as possible without hurting Buck´s privacy. “No, but he will be. Athena comes to get him home. On their way, they will stop at Chris's school to get him as well.” Eddie nodded. Thankful. He knew Athena wouldn´t let them be alone. She would stay with them as long as he was at work. Then he would take care of his boys.  
Even so, Eddie was worried about his boyfriend. As long as they are together, Buck had nightmares. First about the fire truck, then about the tsunami and after their break caused by a stupid lawsuit Buck had filled, about losing Eddie, Chris, or another person he loved. Sometimes he also had nightmares about his childhood. But they never were as present as now. Since Maddie told him that their parents would come to her baby shower in three days he only had nightmares about them. Especially about his father. Nearly every night, Eddie had woken up by Buck´s screaming, sobbing or wincing. Sometimes he even hit around like he tried to fight back. Eddie had tried to speak with him about the nightmare and the whole situation. But Buck never wanted. Eddie wasn´t even sure if Buck´s therapist Jamie was aware of the situation. Buck always was good at hiding things and fight with them by himself. Eddie just hoped that showing him, that he was someone Buck could trust, he would open up onetime. And for a short period, it seems to work but now Buck got back to hiding and trying to survive on his own. Without the people who love him. Without the people who care about him. 

At 1 a.m. Eddie entered his house. It was quite. Again. Just like two weeks ago as Buck had his first breakdown about his parents coming to the shower. Eddie actually started to hate silence. Eddie made his way to the kitchen. Bobby on his heals. The captain wanted to make sure his youngest employee was okay. Even so, Athena was still at Eddie´s. Yesterday she had given Bobby a ride to woke so now he needed a ride home.

Both men tried to be as silent as possible. After he left his duffle bag at the kitchen counter, which looks messy now that Eddie takes a better look, he first made his way to Chris's room. He needed to see his son. Needed to know that at least he was okay. After the tsunami, he had nightmares nearly every night. Today he slept peacefully with his Bucky-bear. Bucky-bear was a giant teddy-bear Chris fist won the day of the tsunami. Because he lost his one in the waves Buck had to get him a new one afterward. Now Bucky-bear was Chris's favorite stuffed animal and helped him through the trauma of the tsunami. Eddie smiled at the picture he found, left a kiss on Chris's forehead, and closed the door silently after he left. Bobby stands behind him on the floor and smiled as well. Eddie wasn´t sure if he could get warm with the idea of being such familiar with his boss but he knew how much the captain meant to Buck so he had to accept it. And if he was honest with himself, Bobby was a good and loyal friend you ever could count on. So it maybe wasn´t as bad as he first thought.

Together they headed to the bedroom. Buck and Athena weren’t in the living room. So there weren´t too many other options. And Eddie´s instinct told him that he would find his boyfriend into their bedroom. And he was right. Silently he opened the door. He didn´t want to startle Buck. 

He wasn´t sure what he had expected but the picture he found didn´t compare with his imagines. There, on the bed sat Athena, a book that seems like one of Christopher´s in one hand, reading with a calming voice to Buck who laid with his head in her lap. Athena´s second hand continued to play with his hair even as she looked up to see who entered the room. Eddie stepped inside and realized that Buck was sleeping. Judging by his red and puffy eyes he had cried. “Hey.”, she welcomed them: “Nice of you two to join us.” She had a smile on her face and didn´t seem to mind that she had to take care of a grown man, she wasn´t even real family with just after a definitely exhausting shift. “Hey ´Thena.” Bobby stepped in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Thanks for helping.” Athena winked up. “Ah, no problem. Buckaroo and Chris played the whole afternoon. Before that, we cooked and made Chris homework. Because of Buck her, his new science project is about light.” Eddie blinked. “Light?”, he questioned. Athena nodded. “Yeah. Seems like or boy here didn´t sleep much last night. He told Chris a story about the sun and how fast her light speeds to the earth. Before you ask. I listened but didn´t recognize.” Eddie smiled. “I think I can explain it to you in a few weeks. You just have to wait for Chris to practice for the presentation.” The man smiled at the image of his son and Buck working together on a science project again. They ever had so much fun at stuff like this, that Eddie didn´t mind the chaos they made. 

“Did something happen?”, Bobby asked his wife. She smiled sadly. “Just a little breakdown after Maddie called to apologize. She called after he put Chris into bed. I was in the kitchen and cleaned up. After an hour I wondered what takes him so long. I found him on this bed here, crying and rocking. That´s why we are like this and the kitchen isn´t clean yet.” Eddie winked up. “You didn´t even have to clean at the start, so no problem Athena. I clean tomorrow after breakfast. Nothing we haven´t done before. If you still have a minute, I chance and take your place so you and Bobby…”, he was interrupted by his Captain. “Don´t even try to finish the sentence. We are staying tonight. Harry is at a sleepover with friends and May is babysitting for Hen and Karen so no one is waiting for us.” Eddie sight. He knew, if Bobby and Athena didn´t want to leave, he wouldn´t get them to. So he just nodded. He didn´t want to argue with his boy´s sleeping so peacefully. It didn´t have chance something anyway.

“Okay”, Bobby continued: “Let me finish your kitchen, Eddie. You take a shower, change and take a place beside your boyfriend.” He smiled at his words. “Athena and I take your guest room. I hope you cleaned up since the last time!” “Really Cap?” Bobby just shrugged and left the bedroom. Athena started to read again and Eddie headed for the bathroom. It was a strange feeling that his Captain knew his house so well and would stay the night. On the other side, it would help Buck if he needed his pseudo-father and Chris would be thrilled in the morning to find out that Bobby and Athena stayed overnight. Since Buck had moved in with Chris and him they both were a steady presence in their lives. They visited without a real reason, played babysitter for Christopher, and where there whenever Buck needed them. Eddie sometimes questioned himself how he couldn´t have seen the strong and trustful connection between Buck and Bobby before they moved together. 

Half an hour later Eddie laid in his bed. His arms are protective around his sleeping boyfriend. He was tired to the bones but couldn´t find himself to relax and sleep. Too much had happened today. Eddie thought it would be a good plan to tell Maddie that Bobby and Buck had to cover a shift, which they actually did because the third shift was two men down since weeks and now their replacement had a family emergency. But then Maddie stormed into the station and yelled at Buck why he always just thought about himself and not the people around him. How he could do this to his older sister. She even asked him if his happiness for her pregnancy ever were real.

Eddie himself had Buck called selfish one time and it still was a point in arguments between them. And on bad days Buck´s brain would use it against him and mix it with the words his father had shouted at him all these years ahead. 

Buck had reacted immediately to the yelling. His hands had started to shake and his skin had lost all its color within a second. Eddie thought he would collapse on the floor. Bobby´s fast reaction was the only reason it didn´t happen and Eddie hadn´t punch Maddie. The captain had ordered her out of “his” station and directed Buck into his office. Then they get a call and Eddie had something else to concentrate about. But now his thought didn´t let him sleep. They flew around in his head and searched for a solution.

Buck stirred in his arms. Slowly the younger man opened his eyes. “Eddie?”, he whispered. “Hey, carino. How do you feel?” He let himself think before he answered honestly “Like I couldn´t control my emotions anymore. I hate it to cry and break down like this!”, he stated. Eddie nodded. “Maybe you should talk to Jamie about that. I can settle an appointment if you want.” Eddie really hoped Buck would agree. He himself made great progress with his therapist Frank and hoped Buck could get to a point where he no longer thought a therapist was something that let him be weak. To Eddie´s relive, Buck nodded in his arms. 

“Where is `Thena by the way?”, he yawned. Eddie was sure in not even five minutes he would be back to sleep. He still answered. “In the guest room. Bobby refused to leave you after today so she stayed as well.” “Hmm. That´s good. I have to thank her!” Eddie frowned. “Why?” “She helped me to get control of myself today.” “I think she would agree with me if I say that’s what family´s for. We always have your back, remember?” Buck hummed. “Still. She didn´t need to stay with me.” “Maybe she wanted, carino.” Eddie didn´t get a replay to this. His boyfriend was back in the land of sleep and Eddie felt himself relax. Maybe now he would be able to sleep. He placed a kiss on Buck´s forehead and closed his eyes. Tomorrow was a new day and they would find a solution. Together. Like always.


End file.
